The progress that they have made in one year just astounds me. Eleanor has gained 19 pounds in one year, and Adam has gained 17.5. They have gone from tiny, frail babies covered in wires and tubes to the happy, excited, curious little stinkers they are today. The odd thing is, I've been so...sad. I didn't see this coming, but I probably should have after reading about so many micropreemie birthdays. This is perhaps, one of those experiences that only another micropreemie parent might truly understand. In thinking about their birthday, I can't help but think about their actual birth and what a horrible time it was. I wish that weren't the case, but there is no other way to put it. We had no idea that Eleanor and Adam would be so healthy a year later, so the feelings of dispair and disbelief easily come flooding back. The horrible way they put mothers of perfectly healthy full-term babies 
and mothers of very ill children who can't leave the NICU right next to each other in the maternity ward... The sound of other people's babies crying at night when I didn't know if I would ever hear mine cry... Thinking over and over "only a 30% chance..." I slept with their little hospital hats every night for weeks since that was as close as I could get to them. I suppose this isn't the post most of you were expecting to read on such a joyful day as today, but along with the millions of kisses and the rounds of "Happy Birthday" comes such strong feelings of sadness that it almost takes my breath away. I wan't sure that I wanted to write all of this here, but I think that if another preemie mom reads it and feels like I do, we can empathize and nod our heads, thinking, "I know exactly what you mean." But I only think these things when I am away from them for a moment, because as soon as 
I walk into the room and they both smile and giggle at me, those thoughts disappear and are replaced with the thoughts of a very proud mommy who has personally discovered that miracles can honestly happen.Happy, Happy Birthday my pretty Eleanor and my sweet Adam.
6 comments:
HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! TO THE TWO OF YOU!! GLAD EVERYTHING IS GOING GOOD, WHAT A BLESSING. :)
I got goosebumps reading this post. It is so tragic that a year ago you couldn't even imagine this day. But the amazing thing is that from that tragedy of extremely premature birth, you've gotten two pretty healthy, smart, funny little buggers who obviously light up your life. You've got to let yourself feel those feelings because, without remembering where they were, you'd never know how far they've come. And they've come a long way. Happy birthday babies, and way to go, Mom--you all are amazing!
Happy birthday Eleanor and Adam! Is that Adam trying to eat his sister's foot there?
Stated EXACTLY how I feel and what I've been wanting to write on Kaitlyn's birthday post....
I know EXACTLY what you mean.
I, too have preemie twins. My daughter was born at 23 weeks, 2 days and then I stayed pregnant with my son for 24 more days before his birth at 26 weeks, 5 days. Reading this (and I'm not sure how long ago you wrote it) brought me back to 3 years ago. My twins turn 3 this month and I guess it's no coincidence that I'm looking at 23 weeker websites this month. Every November I'm brought back to that crazy time 3 years ago. Congratulations on your beautiful twins. I don't know if you'll get this but, if you do, and you can, please email me back. lisagers@gmail.com
Post a Comment